jasmania

ah-ha

2012-01-17T14:31:00.001-05:00

I am here. Yup. Haven't gone very far. I am sitting just where you left me.

Here is my thought for the day.

......

Yup. That about sums it up.

How about you? You got something for me???

monster! monster!

2010-11-18T15:24:00.000-05:00

there's a monster under my bed!

ummm....soo....

2010-08-18T15:02:00.003-04:00

I was just looking at my desk at work and discovered the following:

I have three bottles of liquids on my desk. All different. Two types of water. One with electrolytes, the other with the tinest bit of lemonade. The third is a strawberry lemonade. The smallest of the three is a 20 oz bottle. The largest is a 33.8 oz bottle. I like liquid.

I just inhaled a small bag of yogurt covered pretzels. Afterwards I review the calorie content. I will not share what I learned but I will tell you that I will not burn off all the calories I need to by the end of today.

I am either dehydrated and trying to hydrate as quickly as possible or I am bored.

shoes.

2010-07-13T11:20:00.003-04:00

if you want to really get to know a person take a moment to step into their shoes. don't wear socks. close your eyes and feel. feel all the little bumps and indents that have been worn into their sole. all the cold spots and the warm spots. just stand there. take a deep breath and think, for just one brief moment, what it would be like to walk in those shoes for a few steps, a few feet, perhaps even a mile. acknowledge that these shoes have been worn through thick and thin. gaze at the outside of each shoe- acknowledge the parts that are well worn- those that aren't. perhaps there is a bit of dust on the toe. don't brush it off- just recognize its presence. when you are done place them- gently, exactly as you found them. say thank you and walk forward, carrying with you the things that you have learned.

"you look tired."

2010-06-24T10:30:00.003-04:00

so....this may have just become one of my least favorite phrases. lets face it. I suffer from what most active single adults around my age suffer from- exhaustion. I am almost ALWAYS tired. I will almost NEVER get enough sleep. And when I do get enough sleep I end up, for some inexplicable reason (okay I understand the science but not the logic behind it), looking more tired the next day. So please, when all is said and done, have a little pity and don't tell me I look tired. The only thing that manages to do is remind me of how tired I actually am.

and that is my rant for today. come back tomorrow for something a little more upbeat.

wonderings....

2010-02-03T10:46:00.004-05:00

Why is it that most often the thought of a new little one coming into the world fills your heart with joy? What is it about the creation of life that is so thrilling? It's fascinating to me how across the world the reaction is most often the same. Happiness, excitement, joy, love. Warmth fills the chest and we rejoice in the knowledge that soon a new little one will grace the earth with her presence. What is it that is so special about this? I know there is a response but my mind seems to only barely grasp the complexity of the answer. It seems simplified in my mind- down to something appearing as simple as breathing. Yet when you really think about it the act o breathing isn't so simple now is it? And so I am left curious and wondering.

dancing a confession...

2010-01-25T21:27:00.002-05:00

For those of you residing in the general Boston area you may be curious as to why a guest appearance by yours truly is a rare occasion. Well I have fallen in love. Yes- me. Head over heels in love with a little something called Lindy Hop. For those of you who do not know what this is I would suggest youtube...that tends to be the general go to these days. For those of you who do- the answer is no, I do not do all the crazy flips. But there is plenty of other "stuff" that I am determined to master. The confession comes in admitting the amount of time that I tend to sink into this endeavor. To be honest with you I am at about 18-20 hours a week. Practically another job. But I love it. So there you have it. I have found my place in life- on the dance floor. And no I will not now, nor ever, participate in any shows based upon dance and the like. But thanks for asking.

a list...

2009-10-03T18:36:00.002-04:00

of today's accomplishments.

1. slept in

2. had a long overdue conversation with a dear, dear friend

3. bought and succesfully programed a remote for my tv/dvd player

4. found a new book to read

5. made homemade hummus

6. relaxed

....and the night is still very young. I wonder what it will bring me.

correspondence

2009-09-30T10:15:00.003-04:00

Please humor me for one moment while I share with you the following correspondence. Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

****

Letter 1:

any interest in going with me to this concert? we haven't had a chance to catch up in awhile. I think it would be fun...that is unless you were planning on taking your gf with...then it would be fun for you but not so much fun for me....let me know your thoughts. not all of them. just the ones pertaining to this invite....

Letter 2:

Hi B,

Thanks for the invite. I do have plans of being accompanied, though, already in place; yet, since I know quite a few folks are going, the more the merrier! I think it will be a big group thing, despite people coming separately. So hopefully you'll still decide to attend.

On a separate note, I was intrigued by the word choice in the your email. I wasn't sure which of the following definitions the word "gf" referred to in the context of your email:

1) grand-father
2) gold ferret
3) golf films
4) grey faucet
5) gimbaled flamethrower
6) gooey flan
7) green flatulence
8) goat feces
9) gang friends
10) ghetto funk

As you can see, inserting any of these possibilities in your sentence "I think it would be fun...that is unless you were planning on taking your [INSERT PHRASE STARTING WITH GF HERE] with...then it would be fun for you but not so much fun for me," could result in a viable statement. Please elaborate for my sake and help make a confused man happy for a day. :)

Take care,
P.

Letter 3:

Dear P,

I am happy to hear that you are planning to attend the event this evening. It sounds like it will be a roaring good time. I have yet to decide what my plans will be. I am torn between sitting and listening to music or getting up and dancing to it- though the dancing and sitting will not happen at the same location.

As for the word choice in my previous email. First off let me apologize for the confusion, I realize that my tendency to be vague often leaves you with the freedom to choose your options as to what I was originally intending. So as to not lead us in a direction that continues to be far off the intended path let me be more direct. The term that I meant to use is: girlfriend.

So as to minimize any further confusion I will provide you with additional options or terms that you may also use:

1) honey

2) beau

3) sugar

4) steady

5) sweetheart

6) tootsie

7) flame

While I realize that out of context these words may provide some mild amusement (lets face it, in context they will do the same) the intention is to refer to the individual that will be accompanying you. Though the most appropriate term for this person would most likely be "object of your affection".

One last thought before I go. While I did find the terms that you gave me very amusing I would like to point out that it may not be a good idea to refer to an individual as either a gimbaled flamethrower, green flatulence, or goat feces. It may leave something of a sour taste in ones mouth (literally or figuratively).

Cheers,

ps. Siberia has once again grown cold. I have relocated to the Sahara- desolation is often most appealing in times like these.

****

I hope that you have been as entertained as I.

Marieisms.....

2009-09-18T15:02:00.002-04:00

So...I have this fantastic co-worker who has all of these catchy sayings that I love. I thought that you might get a kick out of them as well. Here is a few to wet your whistle:

"You know me, I'm not backwards about coming forwards."

"You're about as subtle as a hand grenade."

this has been directed at me once or twice....maybe more....

"To the moon! To. The. Moon."

most often used when expressing frustration....love it!

All three of these bring a smile to my face and almost make me double over laughing.

a little rhyme, a little riddle

2009-05-07T10:35:00.001-04:00

lefties, lefties, everywhere
lefties, lefties, under where.
lefties, lefties, I don't care.
lefties, lefties, everywhere.

walking home...

2009-05-05T12:21:00.002-04:00

last night I had the opportunity to walk home with a good friend. we had a simply fabulous conversation. one that was deep- diving into topics whose answers may always elude us. but it was good. no conclusion were reached but in the end I felt comforted by the knowledge and realizations that I gained as a result of the conversation.

experiences like this are my favorite. I enjoy turning over ideas in my head and I love discussing them with others- especially friends.

it was a good night.

name change....

2009-05-05T12:20:00.001-04:00

or maybe title change...

inspired by a good friend who thought that it would be smiply perfect if I had a blog titled "jasmania". luckily I already had the blog. all I had to do was change the title. :)

Be well...

2009-04-15T19:06:00.003-04:00

In an email correspondence from a friend she signed it with the term- "be well". I have never really thought about the ending of an email and how it may or may not effect me...but this one caught me off guard. There is something about the simplicity of the thought that comes with the phrase "be well". It seems to express a deeper care and concern for the well being of the other. a genuine desire that as they part from this interaction they may actually take health and well wishes along with them. I love it. I may have to pick this little phrase up and take it along with me.

Forwards....

2008-12-05T15:42:00.002-05:00

I am not such a big fan of email forwards. But once in a great while....once in a blue moon I fall victim the the forward trap. You know the one...the line on the end asking a simple question or making a statement. A question such as- "don't you want someone else to experience the same joy you just felt?" Or the statement that says something similar to "do this and a miracle will happen tonight in your life".

I fall victim to these simply because, there are times when I want to hold onto that hope that a miracle will happen in my life. It really is quite simple. It is not something that happens often but when it does....well you get a forward.

Life is fabulous.

2008-11-14T10:20:00.002-05:00

Today- I work.
Tonight- I play.

The weekend is destined to be filled with fun and entertainment- not to mention the fact that I am getting out of town. What more can a girl ask for? Don't get me wrong- I love Boston. I love living here and I love all that it has to offer. But I also love exploration. The opportunity to get out and see the rest of the world. This weekend it is NYC and CT- with old friends and soon to be new ones. It will definitely be a weekend that I will not forget.

Growling dogs, happy cats, phone calls, and neighbors.

2008-11-12T12:56:00.003-05:00

The other night I had decided to go for a walk while talking with a friend on the phone. This is actually a common practice these days as I live with 5 other people...walks are the best way to find privacy, but that is beside the point. As I was walking back to my apartment, while still talking on the phone, I passed a woman with a very small dog. He was small and black and snarling. Now most people who cross a dog who is verbally annoyed will continue past that dog. But I was curious. I stopped to ask the owner..."is he always like this". Her response was "no he just growls inappropriately". So I thought...well maybe he isn't an angry dog. He came up to me, still slightly agitated but calming as time passed, and put his little front paws on the front of my legs. I leaned down and started petting this small furry creature that had decided to invade my space. As I was talking to him he once again became agitated and jumped up trying to bite my hand. Luckily he didn't catch the skin but did catch my thumb and I walked away unscathed with the woman yelling at her dog in the background and me chuckling to myself.

The next encounter that I had was with a neighbor of mine. A very nice gentleman who was standing on his front porch and who had witnessed the whole thing. I stopped and chatted with him briefly asking if that dog was always like that. He said that usually the dog was growling at him but tonight decided to be nice. I guess I must have been on the blacklist that night.

Although the next two cats that I ran into were quite pleasant. One attempted to follow me home. The second decided to lay himself in my path demanding attention- how could I resist?

All in all it was a very eventful evening.

Mind you I was on the phone the whole time....I was being quite rude to my friend. I hope I am forgiven.

Gratitude

2008-11-10T16:34:00.002-05:00

I think that I need to take a moment to seek a sense of gratitude in my life. Most days this comes as a very simple task, most often naturally with little thought. But today it comes as a struggle. I think that when in the midst of trying to make decisions I become overwhelmed, seeking a very large hole to crawl into. A friend recently made a comment to me about he tries to live his life being proactive rather than reactive. It is something that made me stop and think. I had to really honestly ask myself how I live my life. I found that it is a combination of both. Sometimes leaning more to one side then the other. I remember a favorite Bishop on mine one saying that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. This is the same principle, is it not? So where do gratitude come into this equation? For now it will be in the simple fact that I have remembered a principle that was taught to me long ago. Maybe as I begin to think a little more about this I will seek my hole a little less until eventually it will be nothing more than a passing thought.

I've missed you....

2008-11-06T14:15:00.002-05:00

Dear Blog,

I have missed you. I am sorry for my long absence. I apologize for walking away. Please know that you were thought of often. Many a story has been written to share with you, many a thought stored away for the perfect time to place it here- where you will keep it safe. I am back, my dear blog and I will do my best to be diligent and dedicated to keeping you as an active part of my life. Thank you blog for not forgetting me and for remembering the things that I have shared. Thank you for keeping them safe so that I can come back and be reminded of the lessons I have learned.

Fondly and gratefully yours,
me

A lesson.....

2008-11-03T18:35:00.003-05:00

Life is short.
Time goes by quickly.
Tomorrow may be your last day on earth.
Or it may be today.

As a child I was taught how to love unabashedly. I was taught to give of myself freely, without restraint. I was taught to express love often. To laugh always and to share that laughter with others. I was taught loss. I was taught sorrow. I was taught regret.

As an adolescent I decided to change. I didn't want to experience loss in the same way. I wanted to walk without regret. I wanted to be free.

As an adult I have chosen to express gratitude quickly without reserve. To love freely. To live each day knowing that I have done all that I can. I have chosen laughter and joy over sorrow and sadness. I have chosen sincerity over insincerity. I have chosen, quite simply, to be me.

Boston I'm back!!!!!

2008-10-15T11:47:00.003-04:00

I am finally back in Boston and I love it! It is great to return to the world of civilization. Don't get me wrong- I love my summer mountain home and there are times when I miss it desperately. But Boston....well fellow Bostonians know, there is just something special about this place. And I am oh-so-excited to be back and to be apart of it.

Confession

2008-04-25T12:32:00.000-04:00

So I have a little confession to make...I crack myself up. Seriously. I would have to say that I am possibly one of the funniest people that I know. I know this may sound a little arrogant, self-centered, egotistical, or any other adjective that you would like to insert here. But for those of you that know me, you know that I try my darndest not to be any of those. Oh I have my moments...I am sure we all do. For some those moments last a bit longer then for others- but they are there. I will admit that.

Back to the whole "funniest person I know" thing. There are times that I really wish that others could be there with me. Just a fly on the wall. I sometimes think that my funniest moments are when I am all alone. When there is nobody there for me to share it with. So I just start laughing. Sometimes it is a loud laugh. Other times it is a soft chuckle. And almost always I get a funny look from a passerby. But hey! I firmly believe that laughter is an essential part of life. So I will just go on laughing. I will relish in the moments that I am able to make others laugh and live in the moments that I make myself laugh. And if you ever get to be that fly on the wall I hope that you find at least a small bit of entertainment in the experience.

Wiggle Room

2008-04-23T16:19:00.001-04:00

Some people have this way of just wiggling themselves right into your soul. And once they get there, they find themselves a little hole or corner and become such an essential part of who you are that without them you are lost. You become the dog chasing it's tail- endlessly trying to grab on and never let go, yet never able to truly grab hold. You have moments where you seek them out. Moments where you try to find them or replace them and yet success seems to elude you. Left standing there with empty hands and a hole, not very big but there, left empty. Sometimes you wonder- "would life be better without this void?" Yet if you were to look back on your life you would realize that the answer is "no". Because without them you would not be you. They have come, maybe briefly and for just a few moments, and left an impression on your life so deep that nothing can erase or move it. It becomes a part of you- of who you are. This impression pushes you forward to be better, to live deeper, and to embrace those parts of you that are there because of someone else.

Here's the story.....

2008-04-18T13:20:00.002-04:00

At the beginning of the year I had a plan. For those of you who know me well, you know that this is a big step for me. I don't make plans often, largely due to the fact past plans have been thwarted. But I was excited- I had a plan. I knew what I wanted to do. So I returned from Christmas break...rang in the new year with a polar bear swim and thought I was off to a good start.

Then about a week later everything changed. There were some cutbacks at work, people got laid-off and I was one of them. My plan dissolved and I had to find a way to come up with a new one. First things first. I bought a plane ticket to England. I mean, why not? I was jobless and had nothing better to do with my time, right? Right. Now before you go off thinking that I have been completely irresponsible. Yes. I did do the whole job search thing...I was actually fairly diligent in my efforts. I even interviewed, sent out my resumes to countless openings ( I am still getting rejections to this day), and began to branch out in my search. Looking into opportunities that were outside of my past experiences. Luckily, due to the grace of a friend, I was referred to a great temp agency and have been working for them since my return from England. This worked out perfectly. However there was still that little question of...what am I going to do with my life? Or at least where do I want to and what do I want to accomplish?

Well to make a long story short...after a lot of soul searching and a bit of traveling. I may have the beginnings of another plan. I am starting a bit smaller this time...monthly increments instead of yearly and hoping that all goes as....well as planned!

First I have decided that it is time for me to go home. I have missed my family greatly and I have missed the mountains and the culture of the west. Summer is just around the corner and there is nothing that I would rather do then spend countless hours out in the sunshine in the Rockies. So I have decided that I would do exactly that. I will go back to my roots, figure out where it all started, and move forward from there. To facilitate this process I have found the perfect job....playing with little children all summer at a dude ranch.

Second or maybe third attempt...

2008-04-16T09:52:00.000-04:00

Okay...so several months ago (something I am a bit hesitant to admit) I was rebuked for my lack of blogging effort. I than made a vow (which I am also hesitant to admit) that I would try to improve. I have failed. So in an effort to make amends I have decided that I will do my best- over the next few weeks to update the dark recesses of this cosmic void in my life (what in the world?!?!).

Yeah- what I really meant to say that that I am going to make a very sincere and strong effort to blog and thus update. Read or don't read at your leisure. But always enjoy.

2007-10-01T12:40:00.000-04:00

On a Friday not too long ago a beautiful little girl was brought into the world. A head full of black hair. A sweet angel face. A week after her grand entrance she has left just as quickly as she came. Complications arose ending her life entirely too quickly and leaving behind hearts full of sorrow and pain.

It is in these moments that I express a quiet gratitude for the gospel in my life. I contemplate the peace that fills my heart and my soul as I think of a life that has passed entirely too quickly. It is now that my heart aches with a desire to teach, to share, and a hope of bringing peace into the lives of those around me. As I look into their faces I see pain, anguish, sorrow, and grief. Loss has become so very real to them and to me.

I sit with the thought that maybe, just maybe, through my prayers I will find a way to help and in time they will be healed.

because he said so....

2007-09-24T12:26:00.000-04:00

I have been rebuked many times over the last few weeks about my lack of blogging. I will admit…I have found a new love which has led me to grossly neglect my old one.

But I have found that today, I am in desperate need of self-expression. In order to do so I thought that I would start with seeking a little motivation. Thank you Mooney! Nothing like a little public rebuke to set a girl straight and instill the desired motivation.

I love it!

So friends this is the beginning of a very earnest attempt to revive my blog….we will see what happens.

from my brain.....

2007-09-17T12:58:00.001-04:00

https://twitter.com/cogitoergosum

waiting...

2007-08-29T15:31:00.000-04:00

She opens the link waiting for the message to appear
Hoping that it is long enough
Long enough to distract her thoughts
To pull her away- from the things that are running through her head

She has never been a patient one
She doesn’t enjoy waiting
Her independent soul fights fiercely against the rules she is trying to live by
She doesn’t play games- and yet she still finds herself waiting

Waiting for a response
For an email, a phone call, a text
Something to tell her what is going on
Some gesture of communication-Some effort made on the others part

The message is short
Not enough of a distraction
And so she writes- putting her thoughts down
Hoping this will be the outlet that will allow her to focus

And it is- there is comfort found
Her soul is calmed- she can move forward
No longer waiting- but living
Carrying the hope with her, not allowing it to become a burden

Short excerpt from my brain.....

2007-06-21T12:31:00.000-04:00

my tummy says "FEED ME!!!"

my mind says, "Stop your whining!"

right now my mind is winning- however my tummy has ways of exacting it's revenge.....

just wanted to let you know.

Fried.....

2007-05-28T23:33:00.000-04:00

I think that about halfway through today someone thought that it would be fun to melt my brain....let me explain.

The day started off great- super productive. I spent time with a good friend, we laughed, ate, spent a ridiculous amount of money and had a great time. Then....someone, somewhere flipped a switch and my brain hit meltdown level. From about 3:00 on I was almost completely incapable of doing even the simplest of things without some level of difficulty. For example...I drove up and down the same street several times while attempting to pick up a friend. For some reason I could not find his house even though I had been there several times. I literally thought that I had lost my mind and got to the point where I had to call for directions. Upon doing so I was told that yes I was on his street just two blocks south of where I should be. And there I was thinking that aliens must have abducted either his house or my brain...you choose.

After that I found it much easier to cut fruit then to engage in conversation....

my life by music

2007-04-04T19:47:00.000-04:00

so i have been blessed to have som epretty increible friends. so incredible, in fact, that they all pitched in and bought me an ipod for my birthday (more on that later). and so i thought what better way to say thank you then this....

my life in songs....

{as shown by those of you who have come before....on song, the first that comes up when my ipod is on shuffle, for each moment....i didn't skip, trust me...there were times i really wanted to......}

all for you....and it begins.....

opening credits: “a hard days night” -the beatles
ummmm…really do i need to say more? i am not quite sure how to react to this….let’s see where i go from here….

waking up: "the time warp"- lyrics
hmm….need i say more? what year should i be in??? better yet what century?

first day at school: "suo gan"- charlotte church
a lullaby on my first day….that must be why school has always been such a struggle….

falling in love: "sugarcoat it"- dc talk
“baby you got it, baby we wrote it, aint gonna hide it…” need i say more?

fight song: "all you need is love” the beatles
seriously….it this a joke? this is freaking me out!!!!

breaking up: "amazing grace”- charlotte church
wow….i really hope that break up comes quickly cause it must be pretty bad to deserve a song like that…..

prom: “i am a man of constant sorrow” -the soggy bottom boys
hmm….that was actually slightly similar to my prom experience…..

life's ok: "not hot to trot”- von iva
so i am not sure why this is on my ipod….but i think that it is a suiting song for this one…i’ll take it!

mental breakdown: "carol of the bells” –charlotte church
this song does have a tendency to make me slightly mad when i have listened to it entirely too many times….

driving: "your body is a wonderland” john mayer
often times i just like to drive off and find out where i end up. it works.

inner smile: "sleigh ride"- jack jones
this makes me laugh….i love it!!!!

flashback: "i want to hold your hand” – the beatles
love it, love it, love it….this is just way too true…..

getting back together: "shame"- brian webb
oh,wow! do i really need to add to that?

wedding: “jingle bells” –count baise and orchestra
a completely instrumental song about Christmas. either i will get married in the winter or it will be chrsitmas….you choose.

birth of a child: "brian wilson” barenaked ladies
befitting of such a circumstance…at least bits and pieces.

final battle: "she was honest” –brian webb
and the truth has spoken….need I say more…okay minus the whole girlfriend and desperate/easy part…

death scene: "es mentiroso"- daddy yankee
my question is…what in the world did he lie about???

funeral: "monster ballads” -josh ritter
hmm…..i am at a loss for words….good thing that it’s my funeral and i don’t need to speak.

just wanted to give a shout out to all of you! i love you.....

Labeled....

2007-03-09T17:35:00.000-05:00

Apparently one of my coworkes was a bit concerned that I would not be able to find my way around my cube. In order to ease this concern they decided to label many items found within my cube.....

Labels have been attached to....

my monitor- look here
the phone- phone
lamp,
mouse
moose- a moose brought from the cold winters in Canada...
calculator
clock

It is a good thing. I was worried that one day I might get lost in my cube....did I mention that it measures 5'X7'???

The novel, I am...

2007-02-14T10:36:00.000-05:00

You're Roots!

by Alex Haley

While almost everyone agrees that you're brilliant, no one knows quite
how to categorize you. Some say that you're a person with an amazing family tree. Some
say that you're just a darn good storyteller. Others say that you're both and don't much
care where to draw the line. What is known is that your people have been through a great
number of trials and that you are where you are because of hard work. You have nothing to
lose but your chains.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

The Wisdom....

2007-01-17T07:23:00.000-05:00

Of getting yous wisdom teeth pulled.

So far this experience has been slightly, no very, unpleasant.

The procedure itself was great. I took the option of being completely knocked out. Which means that one of the last things that I remember is listening to the jokes that my surgeon was making. The next thing I remember is being woken up and being taken to a small room with a bed to lay down for a few minutes.

The worst part about it is that I can't keep anything in my stomach long enough to take any pain meds.

This means that this experience, which is supposed to grant you the right to be doped up on pain meds for a couple of days, has been a complete and utter scam.

Scam I tell you!

I am wondering if requesting an IV of morphine would be inappropriate....

This week....

2006-12-06T22:12:00.000-05:00

has one word to describe it....stressful.

I have one week of classes left and then I am done. Done I tell you! Okay well not so done. I start a crash course in psych on the 2nd of January. This way I will better be able to understand all of the weirdos that I am surrounded by. Wait, maybe I am the weirdo and the rest of you are the normal ones, although this would imply that the previous statement stated that I was normal. I am not and you are prolly not a weirdo either.

Anyhow back to this week. It all began with a flight back from Colorado, which was just grand. It has since been followed up with nightmares, dreaded exams, overdue papers, cold weather (and not just any cold weather, Boston cold weather which is about 10x worse than anywhere else), the grumps, the munchies, and over indulgence.

On the other hand I have finally, after a very long struggle, come to a deeper understanding of my faith and what it means.

I guess with the bad always comes the good.

Oh and P.S. I am going back to Colorado in about 2 weeks. Can't wait...

Ahh the joys.....

2006-12-02T07:15:00.000-05:00

So I decided a couple of weeks ago to buy a ticket home for a friends wedding reception. She got married last weekend (Thanksgiving weekend) in Salt Lake but I couldn't go because tickets were just a little too expensive.

Anyhow, I showed up to Logan Airport at 5:50 last night. Exactly one hour from the time my flight was scheduled to depart. I checked in and all seemed to be going well. I even took a few extra minutes to stop by the book store and pick-up a new book (this seems to have become a kind of tradition). As I made my way to the gate- happy for the opportunity for a brief trip home, I noticed a long line at the checkin desk. My first thought was, "Great, they are just now beginning to board!" so I did what everyone would do. I took a seat and waited for them to call my number.

After a few minutes I noticed that the line was not getting any shorter and I began to wonder..."is there something wrong with my flight." So I took a wander up to the checkin desk at a nearby gate and made an inquiry. Lo and behold the flight was delayed due to weather...

Funny thing earlier that day I had a conversation with a friend about how fortunate I had been in not experiencing flight delays out of Boston due to weather....

Anyhow, come to find out all flights were grounded. All except for that direct flight that has just been cleared...any guesses as to where is was going? Yep, that's right, Denver. It had just left the ground.

The down side about my current situation...my flight from Boston to Denver was not a direct flight. Because of the flight delay there was a 99.9% chance that I would miss my connecting flight in Washington/Dulles, which also happened to be the last flight to Denver that day. Either I could fly to Dulles and take the chance, which would most likely result in missing my flight and having to stay in Dulles overnight, or I could change my itinerary. My current itinerary was set for me leave Friday night and return Sunday afternoon. My new itinerary would be for me to leave Saturday morning and come back on Sunday afternoon.

So I did what any logical person would do....I changed my flight. Perfect....I could crash at a friends house in Boston. Get up at 5:30am to make my 7:15 flight and I would arrive in Denver at 10:15. If only....

So I got up this morning, thinking that everything was set. I took a shower, got dressed, gathered the few things that I had with me...

I should also mention I had decided to leave my luggage on the flight that I was supposed to be on last night. I thought that this was a nice alternative to having to wait another hour in the airport for them to find my bag. My luggage would then fly to Dulles and be put on the first flight out this morning arriving about 10 minutes after my currently scheduled flight.

So finally I arrive at the airport an hour before my flight is scheduled to take off, 6:15am to be exact. I make it through security without any hitches- I had gone through the same thing less than 12 hours previously, and I make my way to the gate. It's a beautiful morning in Boston so I am not concerned about the weather at this point in time.

When I arrive at the gate I notice that the time posted on the sign behind the checkin desk was a bit different than what I had expected. Hoping that the sign saying 10:30 is incorrect I search out the closest Departure/Arrival monitors. Lo and behold the board had not lied to me. I have arrived 4 hours before my flight was scheduled to depart. Reason for the delay....the crew needed more sleep....

As I sit here now...biding my time....I think to myself, "If only I had checked the airlines website prior to leaving my friends house, I could be nicely tucked in bed right now just like the flight crew..." Instead I am left with 2.5 hours to kill- good thing I brought all that HW with me.

The great thing about this experience so far (besides spending some much needed time with a good friend last night) is that I was able to change my return flight. It is now a direct flight out of Denver departing at 6:30pm. That means that by the time I arrive in Denver today I will have 29 hours before having to return to the airport only to repeat the checkin-security-boarding process all over again tomorrow....

Why the change???

2006-11-28T22:24:00.000-05:00

Well someone was kind enough to point out that I am a loon. I mean that I may be going crazy...or is it that I have gone crazy. I mean who in the world would have a blog with an address like gallivantingmonkeys....and be smart enough to misspell monkeys....oh wait!

I guess that is the reason for the change.

12 People, 12 Comments (take two)

2006-11-08T16:53:00.000-05:00

1. I love you. You are amazing and I am so very grateful you are a part of my life. I wouldn't be who I am today with out you.

2. I am sorry...I really am trying to improve. Just give me time.

3. I miss you.

4. Do you know how incredible you are. You are smart, attractive, spiritual, and much, much more. You have blessed so many lives but just being you. I wish that you could see what I see in you.

5. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Now let me share mine; every professor is different. They do not all teach by the same methods. With this being said, all of them will expect you to take responsibility for yourself and your actions.

6. I am sorry but I really like my personal space and you have a tendency to constantly intrude upon it. Please maintain your distance, I promise you will not fall of the edge of the earth.

7. One day when I grow up I want to be just like you. I want to know who I am and be able to live every day consistently not allowing that to change. I want to have the same intensity in my relationships that you do in yours. I want to be an incredible mom like you with children just as wonderful as yours.

8. It was just a compliment. Don't let it go to your head. Don't over think it and it DOESN'T mean that I like you.

9. I think that there are better ways to use our time than to sit around and talk about others...things like talking about the weather could be a good substitute.

10. Sometimes I think that we would be perfect together. Then other times I realize that I wouldn't be able to go a day without ripping your head off.

11. Why do you sit and waste your life away? Don't you see what you have to offer to the world, to me? You can go out there and be one of the most successful people in your field. And yet you chose to sit around drowning your sorrows. You are incredible, you are intelligent, you are loved and people need you. I need you.

12. WOW!

Happiness....

2006-11-08T16:47:00.000-05:00

Just a few things that make me happy:

the sun

my mom

liquid sun (when it's raining and sun is still shining)

the Gospel

people: those that I love, those that I don't know or am just getting to know, acquaintances...

children: watching them laugh, dance, run, sing, seeing a child learn something new....

Franklin: the sounds of his laughter and the pitter patter of his feet, the sound of his voice (even if he is screaming)

seeing happiness in the lives of those that I know and love

the smell of a campfire

the Rocky Mountains

LIFE.

Rainy Days

2006-10-28T13:34:00.000-04:00

Oh how I love rainy days.

Today is a curl up in your bed and watch movies kind of day or read a good book. Rainy days are also great because I don't feel tempeted to go outside, I can sit at home and listen to the rain fall, or feel the house shake (happiness for living in a 100 yr old house!).

story

2006-10-16T15:01:00.000-04:00

so I was walking down the hall and I saw a little caterpillar, I decided to follow the caterpillar and he led me to a little worm, I then decided to follow the little worm which lead me to a big ant, I decided to follow the ant.

we walked for awhile then he turned around and asked me why I was following him.

I couldn't come up with an answer fast enough so he squished me.

Spiritual Feedings

2006-10-16T14:57:00.000-04:00

I was talking with a friend last night.

He made the following comment:

"Ever time you feed your body you should feed your spirit. The spirit needs to be nourished just as often as the body does."

My thoughts:

So if you sit down and eat a meal and it takes 10 minutes, take ten minutes to feed your spirit.

I wonder what life would be like if we all had this mindset.

Hiatus.

2006-09-06T22:30:00.000-04:00

Farewell my dear blogging friends...I am taking a hiatus.

I shall return...eventually.

UTPD

2006-08-24T20:30:00.000-04:00

Ladies and gentelman.

Hold on to your seats.

The day has come that we have all been waiting for.

Yes, you know the day that I am talking about. I am sure that some of you have even experienced this day. It's one of those things that sneaks up on you without expecting it and before you know it....BOOM!

You have been tagged.

If you still don't know what I am talking about you are seriously missing out.

Today was my day...

Will you hold please?

2006-08-15T19:59:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed that when you call a place of business, more often than not and only when applicable, they will ask you if you mind holding?

I have had this happen to me a few times in the recent days. And one day when I was feeling quite cantankerous the thoughts occurred to me, "What if I say no?"

Just imagine, you dial the number, listen to the phone ring and wait for an answer. The first thing you hear when the phone is answered is, "Thank you for calling (insert company name here), would you mind holding?"

Now what if I don't want to hold? And what if I say no? I don't want to sit here while you do whatever it is that you are doing and possibly end up forgetting me.

Sometimes you are just not in the mood to be put on hold, and it's not because you are impatient or rude. Sometimes you are calling right then, at the moment, because you need an answer right now. (I guess that it the flaw that lies within todays society, the desire to find immediate gratification in everything, but that is another topic for another post.)

I haven't had the opportunity to try this out, but I bet that 9 out of 10 times I will still be placed on hold. And to further this little adventure, what if my response to the question, "Will you hold please?" is "For how long?". Then what do you think their response will be? How often do you think they will actually listen for a response?

A Poem

2006-08-10T11:33:00.000-04:00

Gather round little children,
Come, gather round,
And listen to the story of the great big hound.

This great big hound lived
long, long ago
In a little old village named Idontknow.

He was a sweet hound,
With friends, here and there,
Until one day he ate, the village hare.

Once his mind was made up,
There was no turning back,
Then all the villagers decided to attack.

Then this great big hound,
was tackled to the ground,
And locked up for life, in the village pound.

For this hare you see
Was no ordinary hare
It was the grand prize winner at the county fair.

It was prized by all
Villagers, near and far
Then the poor little hound was no longer the star.

So little children,
Let jealousy be
For you may become as the hound is, you see?

~Written by Me, Aug 10, 2006

Something to Ponder

2006-08-09T16:32:00.000-04:00

Isaiah 64:8

"But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand."

What does this mean to you and how would you apply it to your life? It's a simple question. Can you answer it?

Life is Good...

2006-08-09T16:15:00.000-04:00

In Colorado.

For the past few months I have been dreadfully homesick. I have missed walking thru paths that are a part of me. I have missed seeing mountains that move my soul and warm my heart. I have missed feeling the joyful warmth of the sun on my face, even if there is snow on the ground. I have missed the fresh air, the babbling brooks, and the rustle of the leaves on the trees. I have missed my home. And finally I get to go back, not once but twice. I am so excited! Albeit, the first time will be for work. But I will be in the mountains for four days so who can complain? Then the second visit will be for pure fun.

And just in case you are wondering what Colorado is like. Here are a couple of pictures from my last visit which happened to be in January. I promise to bring backs loads more this next time.

These photographs were taken just out side of Steamboat Springs. It is absolutely gorgeous there during the winter and 10 times more incredible during the summer. It truly is a winter wonderland.

Can you imagine a place where the sun shines over 300 days a year? The best school days growing up were snow days. We would wake up in the morning to a blizzard, school would be cancelled and we would sit around drinking hot chocolate and watching cartoons. Or we would go outside and play in the snow, making snowmen and tunnels where we could. Then we would wait for the sun to come out. As soon as the sun came out it was only a matter of time before we took off our winter clothes and and ran around in the streets as the snow melted from the ground.
By the afternoon most of the snow would be gone and we were in heaven. Then as high school came around snow day meant that it was the perfect day to hit the slopes. Skiing and snowboarding was the way to go.

Ahh...the joys of Colorado. If you haven't been there I would highly suggest visiting. It is, after all, one of the greatest places on earth. And rumor has it that it is the number two place for singles in the United Sates...wait a minute what am I doing in Boston then...that is the question. Trust me, if I come up with an answer you will be the second to know.

Update to "A Conversation"

2006-07-28T14:25:00.000-04:00

Apparently the word is out and most of the neighborhood is aware of the fact that I have managed to lock myself out of the house. I have even had generous offers of any help that may be needed if a similar situation arises in the future.

Isn't it great to be in such a caring neighborhood.

The best part is that Billy and Jane have not yet returned from their vacation.... Looking forward to that conversation. At this rate there is a greater chance of them finding this info out from the neighbors then from me. I am not sure which is worse the embarrassment of the entire neighborhood knowing about it or the fact that they are the ones who will inform the people that I live with.

Ahh....the joys. I have always loved providing entertainment in the lives of those around me...

A conversation....

2006-07-27T16:57:00.000-04:00

me: so the other day I was walking out the door on my way to work. my hands were full and I was in a hurry....

Julie: ok- here we go...

me: I opened the door and then closed it....

the following thought process occured....

"man, I closed that door a little harder than I intended....

(less that .5 secs later) good thing my keys are...

Julie: uh oh

me: sitting on the key rack...right where they belong.

yep...thats right.

I managed to lock myself out of my house.

GENIUS!

Julie: ha ha

I'm sorry- that is sad

but so funny

me: the great thing about it is that Billy and Jane are out of town.

fun times.

I didnt have the phone number or address of thier friends who have the spare key...

Julie: uh oh

me: but luckily I remember what street they live on and it is only a couple of blocks away...

too bad I couldn't remember the house number....

Julie: so you went door-to-door

me: so I did what any normal person would do in my cirumstances...

yep. sure did. I chose a house, committed and walked to the door.

"knock, knock"

Julie: ha ha- no way!

me: a scared little old lady approaches the door....

"Do Jill and Jack live here?"

I know at this time I have the wrong house...but maybe she knows where they live....

Julie: true

me: her reply, "No they live a couple of houses down."

"Really, do you know which one?" Is it the last house or the second to last one?"

luckily.....

she had no clue!

and I had thought the door to door thing would be solved with one knock.

Julie: serious?

me: so on to the next door....knock, knock.

no answer....

the last house has kids toys all over the place, they dont have kids so it definitely wasn't theirs.

finally I knock on what I think could possibly be the right door...and NO ANSWER.

Julie: oh no

me: so I did what any sane person would do.

I went home and walked up to the door and tried to open it.

funny thing....

it was still locked, imagine that.

I guess the little elves decided to stay in the basement...dang them!

Julie: hmm

me: yeah so what are my next options you may ask.....

two choices....

Julie: cry?

me: actually I called my mom, which is just as good.

I don't know what I thought she could do. She only lives a couple thousand miles away!

Julie: this is becoming less of a funny story and more of a depressing sad story

me: so on to the next plan..... I can scale the side of the house to climb up to the deck, or I can climb on the roof using the ladder.

(no it's pretty riduculous actually)

Julie: um, yeah

I bet

me: it ended up that my little old neighbor, who just happened to arrive home decided to bring a ladder and climb up to our deck....

I would of done it however...I just happen to be afraid of heights....

Julie: oh

me: yeah, thats the kicker of it all...I am just a chicken...

the best part will come when Billy and Jane come home tomorrow and find out the story from our neighbors..

Julie: or from the police once that frightened old lady calls them

me: one of them has been kind enough to advise me never to lock myself out of the house....isn't that just sweet of him?

I am sure that is an option as well.

Julie: oh yes

thank you captain obvious

me: although my neighbor did suggest calling the fire department....

Julie: that could have worked too

me: lets just say that I didn't jump at the opportunity.

Julie: no kidding

me: although....the thought of the fact that firemen are almost always hot did cross my mind....

Julie: fire department = lots of attention = should be last resort

me: hmm...damsal in distress saved by young and available fireman....

Julie: yes, but is he Mormon?

me: who could resist....fortunatly I am not that desperate....

not yet anyway....

Julie: true that

when did this happen?

me: tues.

Julie: oh

well, I'm sorry you had to experience that.

but it was a good story for me

me: no worries....it definitely added entertainment to my week....

I am happy to hear that you enjoyed it.

Julie: you should blog about it and share with everyone

Note: Names in the story have been changed to protect the innocent.

Just following the crowd...

2006-07-26T14:23:00.000-04:00

7 Things I Want to Do Before I Die:

1. Learn to speak French
2. and Latin
3. and Spanish
4. Write a book
5. Own a horse
6. and a dog
7. Backpack Europe...on my honeymoon

7 Things I Cannot Do:

1......
2......
3......
4......
5......
6......
7. Be a man

7 Things I say often:

1. Happy Day!
2. No worries
3. C'est la vie
4. Can I put you in my pocket and keep you forever?
5. Get over yourself!
6. Schmeh, schmeh
7. Grrr....

7 Books I Could Read Over and Over:

1. Tuesdays with Morrie
2. Anything by Dr. Seuss
3. The Witch of Blackbird Pond
4. The Book of Mormon
5. Pride and Prejudice
6. The Life of Pi
7. Kite Runner

7 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over (originally movies):

1. Josh Ritter "Idaho"
2. Charlie Daniels "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"
3. Don McLean "American Pie"
4. Bob Marley "Redemption Song"
5. BNL "If I had a million dollars."
6. Antje Duvekot "Dandelion"
7. Brian Webb "Tobias"

7 Things that Attract Me to My Best Friends:

1. Honesty
2. Integrity
3. Dependability
4. Commitment
5. Humor...they make me laugh
6. Heart Talk
7. I can be me.

7 People who inspire me.

1. My Mom
2. Bishop and Sister Haight
3. Anywhere Sikochi
4. Matt Beecher
5. Abraham Lincoln
6. Albert Einstein
7. Jesus Christ

...oh to be a Lemming.

Dear Santa...

2006-07-24T22:17:00.000-04:00

So I realize that I may be writing this a bit early. But hey, maybe I am just an ambitious kind of girl. So here it goes.

All I want for Christmas is....(Take One)

1. A bigger closet
2. Better organizational skills.
3. A hot pink bicycle (without training wheels) with a banana seat.
4. New glasses, preferably of the coke-bottle sort.
5. A puppy, preferably a weimaraner but I would settle for a German Shepard or a chocolate lab.
6. A degree in something other than sarcasm (I have been recently told that I already have a Ph.D in this) and life experience.
7. A Billy-Goat.
8. A life size blueberry.
9. A plug for the whole that is currently in my lip.
10. A large vat of ice cream (preferably without the flying clown).

Beauty.

2006-07-24T22:14:00.000-04:00

How is this defined?

Some say it is in the eye of the beholder.

Others say there is one standard by which the rest of the world is judged- theirs.

And still others say that everything posesses beauty.

What do you say?

3 Phone Calls

2006-06-20T23:07:00.000-04:00

I have received three phone calls this evening. All of them are unexpected.

The first is from my friend Matt. He is a very dear friend of mine. One who has taught me and helped me to become the person that I am today. Everything I talk to him I feel as though I am learning something new. He is always so willing to teach and just as willing to listen to the things that are in my heart and on my mind.

The second was from my Father. For the first time in my life it seems as though he is happy. For the first time in my life it seems as though he is doing something that helps him to accomplish his goals. I am grateful for him, even though that is something that is very difficult for me to say to him.

The third is from a dear friend. She and I have known each other for several years. She has taught me so much. She has taught me; the importance of the gospel, the importance of repentance, the beauty that lies in the atonement, and that my Heavenly Father lives and loves me.

All three of these people have been incredible blessings in my life. I am grateful for their unexpected phone calls.

Little Boy

2006-06-20T23:02:00.000-04:00

Little boy with your bright red hair
and your stunning blue eyes
How your laughter fills my heart
and brings joy to my soul.

Little boy with the voice
that sounds like that of angels
How your babble brings
me back to reality and simplicity.

Little boy with your eyes
filled with wonder and awe
How your inquisitiveness
teaches me and guides me.

Little boy with little hands
whom I love so dearly,
How your example teaches
me whom I want to be.

Beautiful

2006-06-11T22:54:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was incredible.

I spent the morning/early afternoon with 3 dear friends. We went out to eat at a cute little Inn in Concord MA. The food was delicious...but the company was intoxicating.

I learned so much.

I gained a greater understanding of those that I spent time with. I was able to observe the beauty that lies within a relationship where both parties are willing to give as much as is needed to that one relationship. I learned about the kind of friendship I want to have. I learned about that kind of friendships I wish I had more of.

I left and my heart was full. I felt strengthened and love. And I felt immensely blessed for having been able to spend time with 3 magnificent people.

Change....

2006-05-19T23:54:00.000-04:00

What an interesting concept. As we grow from a child to an adolescent, we change. Then we become adults and we change, physically, mentally, emotionally.

Sometimes change is inspired by those around us. We see qualities exemplified in others and we want to become as they are. Other times change is inspired by experience. An experience that is filled with joy can instill in us the desire to repeat that same experience or similar ones. Or an experience can be filled with sorrow which will lead us to shy away from similar experiences.

I often wonder how change can be defined. Is change good or is it bad. Some people would respond with, "Well it depends on the change." I personally think that all change is good, as long as we recognize it. If change leads us to become less than we are then we must realize this and do what we can to overcome it and become more than we are. All change leads to growth. Growth as humans and growth as children of God.

For some of us our goal is to become as He is. To see as He sees. To think as He thinks. To act as He acts. In order to do this we must change. We must focus on the things that need improvement within our lives and do all that we can to improve them. And when we have done this He will help us. He will guide us and He will direct us. I am grateful for His patience, I know that I am slow to catch on. But He is always there with His arm outstretched encouraging me to move forward.

Change...the caterpillar become the butterfly. How simple and yet how profound.

Last woman standing....

2006-05-14T22:27:00.000-04:00

It's true. I have been right all along...

Let me explain.

There is a group of girls. Four of us to be exact. We became very close friends as a result of a church calling. It was incredible. All of us were single when we began to work together. We loved to talk, we loved to laughed....we loved to eat. It was great.

Well last spring once of us decided that she wanted to do something crazy...get married. She found a boy...he liked her, she liked him....and boom look at that. They got engaged in the winter and married last June.

This was okay...there were still three of us left.

Not for long. Another one decided that she wanted to get married as well. Actually a boy decided he wanted to marry her and she thought, "Hey that's not such a bad idea."

Well once this happened I knew it was all down hill from here. I would definitely be the last on to get hitched. Girl number two gets married this June. I was okay with this. Girl number three has been seriously dating a guy off and on for a few years and my thought was..."Hey they will wait at least another year before getting hitched..."

Nice thought. Too bad I was just a little off. When I arrived home tonight I found an email announcing a surprise bridal shower for Girl #3.

And so ladies and gentleman, I am....

The last woman standing....

Before ending this post I would like to point out the following. There is a town out west that I will, at times, loving refer to as my home town. If I were to go back and visit said town....I would have no single friends to see. They are ALL married. I would like foe this to be an exaggeration but unfortunately it is NOT....I am cursed.

My friends, however, tend to be quite lucky.

2006-05-11T13:00:00.000-04:00

I just read the following post. It's pretty intense but it's an incredible story. Definitely worth reading.

The Randomness that is.....

2006-05-08T22:05:00.000-04:00

ME.

This, seems to be the theme of my life. Most times I love it and sometimes I don't.

Growing up it seemed as though I was always different than most kids. I tried everything. Tap and ballet when I was three, archery when I was 9, gymnastics when I was 10. The recorder, the viola, and the flute- starting in elementary school and going through high school. Tae-kwan-do in seventh grade, kick-boxing in 9th grade, basketball in 8th grade, swimming my junior year. Speech and debate, yearbook, marching band, drama, D.A.R.E. Youth leadership programs, drug free programs, mentoring programs. Art, horseback riding, writing. I was even a girl scout from the time I was 7 until I was 18. Babysitting, working retail, staffing concerts, soccer games, and baseball games, Powder Puff.

Then I hit college, that lasted for about a year. After that it was off to work. Working in a juice bar, working with juvenile delinquents, teaching preschool, working in a nursing home. Dog sitting, house sitting, horse sitting and even chicken sitting. Working in a photography shop developing film and taking photographs. Working in a bookstore, working as a nanny, running youth conferences.

Talk about random. I guess you could say I love trying new things. This doesn't even include things that I liked to do for fun, in my free time. And as I sit back wondering why in the world I can't make a decision as to what I want to do with my life I realize...I have never been able to choose just one thing. The scary thing about this is that all of these things happened before I moved to Boston. If I were to include the last three years imagine how much longer this list would be.

Idiosyncrasies...

2006-05-02T21:59:00.000-04:00

i.e. How much of a freak am I?

I typically will not listen to a message on my voicemail if it is longer than 5 secs.

When walking outside I will not walk on the grass unless I am barefoot and in a park.

Feet are disgusting...yes even if they have just been washed, even if they are clothed in socks or shoes...however if they are a child's I don't mind them.

If given the choice I will not walk barefoot in someone else's house but I will walk barefoot outside.

Buffets are disgusting even if you are only paying $5 for massive amounts of food.

It is more difficult for me to call and talk to someone I do not know than it is for me to walk up and talk to someone I do not know.

My mind is a...

2006-05-02T21:49:00.000-04:00

blackhole.

Okay so that may be a little off. But here are some of the things that run through my mind on occasion:

I usually think in comic strips most often when I am frustrated, annoyed, vexed, etc. This comes in very handy when I am struggling with finding humor in a situation. However this doesn't work so well when someone is frustrated with me. For some reason if others are frustrated with you and you start laughing they don't appreciate that very much....I wonder why?

Thoughts I have while driving, most often these are said out loud...no one is in the car to hear me. How difficult is it to turn on your turn signal. I mean really? Gas is on the right, brake is on the left, get it straight. Thank you for cutting me off I really need to increase my heart rate today. Are you sure you have a license? Hello Genius!!!

I think that may be all I have for right now...I would like to think that there are more things that run through my head but apparently not.

Optimism...

2006-05-02T10:01:00.000-04:00

What is it? How is it defined.

Old Mr. Webster says that it is either a doctrine that this world is the best possible world or an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome.

I personally do not think that this world is the best possible world. I think that the best possible world is something that will come in it's own due time. Maybe the time will be after the second-coming. Maybe that time was in the Garden of Eden. Maybe that time is yet to exist.

What does any of this have to do with me and why am I posting it? Well I used to, at one point in my life, define my self as an optimist. Now I am not so sure. I do tend to, in most situations, look at the brighter side of things. But when taking optimist in it's literal form, it just doesn't seem to fit who I am.

What other words would better suit me? Pragmatism, idealism, skepticism, cynicism. Maybe somewhere within all of these words there is a better fit. Something that can be used to better define my views and my perspective.

Ultimately I feel that just one word cannot describe any individual. We all are made up of many, many things and it is within each of these things that you find the beauty and brilliance that is humanity.

Fundamentally the best word to describe me may be human.

Dreams....

2006-04-25T10:18:00.000-04:00

When I grow up I want to be....

A dancer- tap, ballet, waltz, latin, swing, hip-hop, I want it all
An artist- sketching, photography, not so much painting...maybe if it's finger painting
A writer- novels, poetry, short stories, advice (but not self-help, never self-help)
A mechanic- I want to be able to fix my own car, not waste money for someone else to do it!
A chef- gourmet meals, pastries, 7 course meals, italian, mexican, thai...mmm good.
A teacher ......

There are so many things that I want to be when I grow up. How do I chose. I want to change the world. I want to solve problems, help others and do my best to be an example to others. Often times I feel as though some of these things are things that I am not even close to doing now and then there are times where I think...maybe just maybe I have set a good example somewhere and in something that I have done. Often as a child I thought that I would be a famous fashion designer and my best friend would be the model. My best friend (Jen) thought that she would be a doctor. Then things changed and I thought maybe I will become a photographer... Jen decided she wanted to be the fashion designer.... Then she went off to school to become a fashion designer and I. Well I am still trying to decide what I want to be.

One day I will be....famous.

Simplicity

2006-04-22T22:32:00.000-04:00

Here's to the days when you became best friends because you had the same color shirt,
Happiness came in sunshine and blue skies,
Your biggest hero was your mom,
You thought you would never grow up, everything would always be bigger than you, the swimming pool was as big as the ocean and three scoops of ice cream made you sick.

Here's to the days when laughter came because a butterfly sat on your shoulder,
Tears came because you skinned your knee,
The scariest thing was the first day of school and your biggest worry was if you would make any friends,
Recess seem liked it would last forever and school was fun.

Here's to the days when honesty was the only way, never questioned, came easily, and didn't hurt,
Sadness disappeared in a rainbow or a kiss from your dog,
Life seemed like one big dream and you could be anything that you wanted,
Happily ever after really did exist.

Here's to the days when a hug from mom brought joy to your soul,
Jesus was always beside you and sometimes you could even see Him,
Conversations with God came easily and the answers came even easier,
Living the gospel was the simplest and most logical thing in the world.

Hello World!!!

2006-04-20T17:12:00.000-04:00

I am here.

This is me.

All the good, bad, and ugly. I can't change the parts that you don't like. I can't become something that I am not. I may make you cry. I will always try to make you laugh. I may hide under mounds of clothing and layers of mud. I may stand naked for all to see. But I will always be me.

Please don't try to change me. Don't try to mold me into something you find more pleasing. Because what you want and what I am may be two different things. Forgive me for my mistakes, my stumbles, my blunders, and love me all the more because of them. Love me for my successes, cheer me on during my failures. Support me, uplift me. Do not hide me or discourage me. Do not make me feel less that I am. Acknowledge me. Help me. In doing so I may help to make you better. Teach me and guide me. Learn from me. Do not lie to me or mistreat me.

I cannot and will not change what I am, who I am becoming. I will grow strong, I will grow tall and I will be proud of who I am and what I stand for. Because I can do nothing else, I can be nothing else. I may at times forget these things. Please forgive me for that and help to remind me. Do not try to inhibit me by your thoughts and ideas of what I should be. Encourage me to be the best me because I can be nothing else.

Simply put: I am me.

This is the song that....

2006-04-19T16:21:00.000-04:00

never ends.

The following is what my day feels like today:

This is the song that never ends.
Yes it goes on and on my friends,
Some people. Started singing it,
not knowing what it was and then conitnued
on and on, forever, just because...

and repeat, over and oever and over and over and.....

Just substitute day with song and you get the picture.

My life in a....

2006-04-17T18:03:00.000-04:00

Song. One of my all time favorite songs. And it just so happens to describe my life perfectly, almost.

When I was born, they looked at me and said,
"What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy."
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
"What a good girl, what a what a smart girl, what a pretty girl."

We've got these chains that hang around our necks
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same,
when temptation calls, we just look away.

Chorus
This name is the hairshirt I wear
and this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me, be with me tonight,
I know that it isn't right, but be with me tonight.

I go to school, I write exams,
if I pass, if I fail, if I drop out,
does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget 'cause it won't take much for me to show my life ain't over yet.

I wake up scared, I wake up strange.
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
and everything around me stays the same.

Chorus

I couldn't tell you that I was wrong,
chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song.
I couldn't tell you that you were right,
so instead I looked in the mirror,
watched TV, laid awake all night.

We've got these chains, hang 'round our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same when temptation calls ...

Chorus

When I was born, they looked at me and said;
"What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy."
And when you were born, they looked at you and said;
"What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey.”

*Barenaked Ladies, Gordon

mmm....good food

2006-04-16T16:47:00.000-04:00

This post is for a dear friend, I hope that you find it useful.

History of Sandwiches:

Webster tells us that the sandwich was named after the Earl of Sandwich, and defines it as "two or more slices of bread with a filling of meat, fish, cheese, jam, etc., between them..."

With the possibility of so many fillings that Webster settles for 'etc.,' we must turn to the critical element of a sandwich, one that has infinite variety itself - bread.

The first recorded sandwich was made by the famous Rabbi, Hillel the Elder, who lived during the 1st century B.C. A poor man, but a great scholar, he began the Passover custom of sandwiching a mixture of chopped nuts, apples, spices, and wine between two matzohs to eat with bitter herbs. This sandwich is the foundation of the Seder and is named after him. But matzoh, being unleavened bread, is not absorptive of sauces and juices as today's sandwich has become.

Before the Renaissance and the invention of the fork, any object that moved between plate and mouth, lifting cooked food and its sauce without spills was a necessary utensil. From the Dark Ages to the Renaissance, bread was an integral part of a table setting. Thick slices of bread, called trenchers, were set on wooden plates (also called trenchers) to soak up the sauces accompanying pieces of meat. The word comes from the French verb trenchier or trancher, which means to cut. Each trencher was eaten at each meal, and a new one made for the subsequent meal by simply cutting off new a slice from the loaf. If the meal was formal and elaborate, trenchers might be changed more than once during the meal. The advent of the fork, however, dictated that using fingers to lift food was bad manners. The trencher became passé.

John Montagu (1718-1792), the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, revived the concept of bread as utensil giving us the name we use today. Montagu was First Lord of the Admiralty and patron to Capt. James Cook who explored New Zealand, Australia, Hawaii, and Polynesia. Capt. Cook named the Hawaiian Islands after him, calling them the Sandwich Islands. Legend holds that Montagu was addicted to gambling, so addicted that he gambled for hours at a time at a restaurant, refusing to get up for meals. To believe this legend, we can only imagine that he was so intent on scooping up winnings that he could not listen to the growls in his stomach demanding food. Supposedly, he ordered his valet to bring him meat tucked between two pieces of bread. His fellow gamblers, no doubt looking for a lucky charm, began to order "the same as Sandwich!" The original sandwich would have been nothing more than a piece of salt beef between two slices of toasted bread. Whatever the truth of the legend, the name sandwich is inscribed for all time.

In her book, English Bread and Yeast Cookery, Elizabeth David tells us that while France and Italy remained true to the freeform bread, the British were quick to adapt to making a fine loaf of white bread in tins. This ensured uniformity and slices that were evenly cut. In addition, bread made in a tin is less crusty and offers more dough to absorb juices or spreads and hold ingredients together. The British loved their sarnies, the nickname given to sandwiches. Another slang word for sandwich, one that predates sarnie, is 'butty' as in jam butty, chip butty, ham butty etc., and that was a contraction of 'bread and butter'. That came from northern regions, possibly Yorkshire.

In 1840, the sandwich was introduced to America by Elizabeth Leslie (1787-1858). In her "Directions for Cookery", she offers a recipe for ham sandwiches that she deemed them worthy to be a main dish. In the 1900's, with the industrial revolution underway, bakeries began to sell pre-sliced bread. The American public jumped at the ease of making a sandwich. The sandwich as institution was born. Human beings, being adventurous, have developed the sandwich into both a quick and easy meal, and an art form. How long would it take for us to reconfigure the possibilities: we toast the bread or serve it plain; we pile high the sandwich with the maximum ingredients, or keep it simple with one or two.

**This is actually info that I found on www.inmamaskitchen.com.

The insanity that is...

2006-04-15T00:39:00.000-04:00

My mind.....

So I have this tendency to think of slightly odd and yet somewhat humorous scenarios when I am either frustrated or bored. Typically this results in me laughing out loud and others looking at me as though I am insane. Hard to believe, I know.

Here is an example:

The other day I was at a friends apartment. Two people were sitting on the couch having a deeply spiritual conversation. I was standing back observing the interactions that were occurring. Completely out of the blue I begin to laugh. This immediately stops the conversation as they look at me with an expression that screams, "What in the world is so funny?!!?" I apologize as I move away and look for anyone who may share in the delight that resulted in the previously expressed laughter. I find someone. Share with them my thoughts and receive a comment that is not what I had expected and as a result leaves me completely ungratified. My response: I walked quietly away grateful that I had not shared the same thought with anyone else.

What is this thought you may ask:

Well let me tell you. Hmmm....maybe that would be pushing it. Lets just say it is something that would be highly entertaining if it were to actually occur.

I must admit though that often times I feel lost in a world where few have traveled and few will even begin to understand. One day...this may change....either I will be committed or...others will begin to see the world in a similar light.

Sick days...

2006-03-21T11:35:00.000-05:00

Do you remember the days when as a child you became ill and mom was there to nurse you back to health. You could lay in beds for hours and Mom would come in every so often with a "Honey, is there anything I can get for you?" You could ask for practically anything and it was yours. Then if you were really lucky Mom would take a sick day and you would lay on the couch all day watching movies and spending time together. Boy oh boy, do I miss those days.

Now reality sets in. You become an adult. Your too far away from home to even call Mom and ask her to come and take care of you. You are simply left to do it on your own. Sometimes it is even tempting to fly home just so she can nurse you back to health. Then you realize that is practically impossible. So you are left to take care of yourself.

For me, when I am sick, I am probably the most vulnerable. All I want is to be cared for and nursed back to health. I want to hear those sweet words, "Honey is there anything that I can get for you?" Then when my response is a bowl of ice cream, it appears. Man, being an adult can really stink!

I want the days of being sick and having that aching-body-stink-because-I-haven't-
showered-in-two-days-feeling to go away. Some may say "Shower it will make you feel better". I want more than that. Instead of having to drag myself to the store to buy Gatorade and Saltines, I want my Mom to be here to do it for me. These are the days when I most long to be a child again. The days when the greatest thing in the world would be having Mom by my side to nurse me back to health.

Oh how those days left so quickly and the harsh reality of real work and life sets in. No longer are the days of being spoiled...I mean well taken care of by Mom. Here come the days of adult responsibility, there-are-only-so-many-sick-days-one-can-take. Oh well. I guess I have to face reality eventually.....

Maybe I can put it off for one more day.

aghlkfjlk

2006-03-06T15:49:00.000-05:00

May I also mention that somewhere in the middle of all of this my brain has turned to absolute mush. All the times that I have made jokes about 1 + 1 = 3. I think that today 1 + 1 = 0. Zero because I am almost unable to speak in a clear concise manner. I feel like a zombie and I am almost completely unable to construct a grammatically correct sentence (which becomes a massive annoyance when I tend to be somewhat obsessive about grammar).....

Yuck, ick, blick! Only to be followed by a very loud and obnoxious GRRRRR. As well as several outbursts of "Curses, curses, curses!!!!"

Good thing that I am able to keep most of these things to myself. Notice I say most. Unfortunately my coworkers are beginning to think I am looney. Unfortunately I am beginning to think that same thing.....

Sanity check anyone?

Ahh the joys....

2006-03-06T14:03:00.000-05:00

Today is definitely a Monday.

Let's start with the fact that I forgot to set my alarm last night. Instead of waking up at 6:45 to go to the gym before going to work I ended up waking up at 7:30. The next hour consisted of me falling back asleep multiple times and finally pulling myself out of bed somewhere around 8:30. I then decided that instead of going to the gym this morning I would go this evening. So I managed to find several things to throw into my gym bag before heading out the door. Finally at about 9:45 I managed to get out of the house but only after multiple runs up to my room (which is located on the third floor) to get numerous things which I had forgotten.

On my way to work I decided to stop by the library to return a book on cd that I had checked out last week and found unappealing. After returning the first book I picked up two more hoping that I will have better luck with at least one of these. Finally on my way to work I missed the turn to get onto Route 29. Instead of turing around I decided to loop around on some side streets which then leads me to cross over Route 29. I realized my mistake as I drove past a landmark and once again I had to turn around. At last, feeling as though things are under control, I continued my drive to work.

It takes about 20 mins to get to the highway and once there I feel moderately competent in getting myself to work, that is until I miss the exit to 93 North. Once again I have to backtrack. I get off at the next exit, make my way through busy traffic and new territory to find 95 N. Once there I manage to get off at the correct exit and finally find myself on 93 N.

In the process of doing all of this I realize that I have left my tennis shoes at home and feel as though I have been utterly defeated in any attempt to go to the gym. I then look to the floor of the passenger seat of my car and wonder if I should try to workout in my heels that I wore to church yesterday or my slides that I am wearing to work today. Just think, lifting weights in a pair of heels, that will turn heads!

All of this happened within the first two hours of my day. One hour of which was spent in the car listening to a book that I will once again return to the library in search of something to bring slightly more entertainment into my day.

As if enough entertainment doesn't already exist.

Dear Internet

2006-03-06T14:02:00.000-05:00

Please forgive my horrible negligence in maintaining my blog. I will do my best to provide you with as much entertainment as humanly possibly. Warning this entertainment may come in all different forms, some will be recognizable and others may be a bit ambiguous. I hope that you are able to accept all of them as penance for the error of my ways.

Fear: Motivator or Not..

2006-02-17T11:38:00.000-05:00

Conversation:

Girl 1: What in the world is Contra Dancing anyways?

Girl 2: It's like country line dancing except weird.

Girl 3: Actually it is more of a cross between English folk dancing and country dancing with a blue grass twist. The only way to really understand it is by doing it.

Girl 1: I don't think I want to try it.

Girl 2: Also something to be aware of is that the guys get all sweaty. Some of them even have to bring a shirt to change into at the break.

Girl 1: That’s disgusting. I would never try that!

Girl 3: Let's think about this. When you go Latin dancing the guys that you dance with, some of the really good ones, happen to be all sweaty as well. What difference does it make if they are sweaty while contra dancing instead. Dancing is a sport. People sweat while doing sporting activities. Not only that but the people that you meet while contra dancing are some of the nicest most wholesome people that you will ever meet. Contra Dancing just provides a good wholesome environment to do it in.

Thoughts: I must admit that I was completely annoyed with the fact that these two girls were passing judgment on something that they have ever experienced before. Yet how often do we, as individuals, do this exact same thing. It happens when we first meet someone, it happens when we are presented with an opportunity to try something new that we've never experienced, it happens quite frequently in each of our lives. What is it that is the motivating factor behind not only refusing to try new things but also feeling a need to degrade it to the point of coaxing others to have distaste for it as well? What is it that is part of human nature that brings us to this state? My thoughts: fear. Fear of the unknown. I think that it is part of our nature to want to control all things. We want to be able to know exactly what is going to happen, when it is going to happen, and where it is going to happen. When we, as humans, are unable to know each of these things we are left with fear. Cold, hard, brutal-fear. The one thing that is able to completely disable our ability to complete any task.

Your thoughts?

The Human Flaw...

2006-02-15T17:33:00.000-05:00

Fact: People do not enjoy having their pride injured.

Fact: People do not enjoy being embarrassed in front of their peers.

Belief: With age comes wisdom.

Example:
Three students (Jill, Fred, and Marge) in a Spanish class are asked to make a group presentation. During the presentation Marge is given an instruction by the professor to ask Jill a question. Marge become confused but asks the question. Jill becomes flustered and is unable to answer the question.
10 minutes later: Marge is in the hall complaining to a fellow student about what a horrible professor she has and that the professor had no right to a) interrupt the presentation and b) force her to ask and question and c) expect that Jill should be able to answer.

Fact: All the questions and answers needed for this scenario had been taught to all the students multiple times.

Fact: In order to learn you must practice. When learning to speak another language you must actually speak it or you will not learn it.

Moral: ????