Dreams....

When I grow up I want to be....

A dancer- tap, ballet, waltz, latin, swing, hip-hop, I want it all
An artist- sketching, photography, not so much painting...maybe if it's finger painting
A writer- novels, poetry, short stories, advice (but not self-help, never self-help)
A mechanic- I want to be able to fix my own car, not waste money for someone else to do it!
A chef- gourmet meals, pastries, 7 course meals, italian, mexican, thai...mmm good.
A teacher ......

There are so many things that I want to be when I grow up. How do I chose. I want to change the world. I want to solve problems, help others and do my best to be an example to others. Often times I feel as though some of these things are things that I am not even close to doing now and then there are times where I think...maybe just maybe I have set a good example somewhere and in something that I have done. Often as a child I thought that I would be a famous fashion designer and my best friend would be the model. My best friend (Jen) thought that she would be a doctor. Then things changed and I thought maybe I will become a photographer... Jen decided she wanted to be the fashion designer.... Then she went off to school to become a fashion designer and I. Well I am still trying to decide what I want to be.

One day I will be....famous.

Simplicity

Here's to the days when you became best friends because you had the same color shirt,
Happiness came in sunshine and blue skies,
Your biggest hero was your mom,
You thought you would never grow up, everything would always be bigger than you, the swimming pool was as big as the ocean and three scoops of ice cream made you sick.

Here's to the days when laughter came because a butterfly sat on your shoulder,
Tears came because you skinned your knee,
The scariest thing was the first day of school and your biggest worry was if you would make any friends,
Recess seem liked it would last forever and school was fun.

Here's to the days when honesty was the only way, never questioned, came easily, and didn't hurt,
Sadness disappeared in a rainbow or a kiss from your dog,
Life seemed like one big dream and you could be anything that you wanted,
Happily ever after really did exist.

Here's to the days when a hug from mom brought joy to your soul,
Jesus was always beside you and sometimes you could even see Him,
Conversations with God came easily and the answers came even easier,
Living the gospel was the simplest and most logical thing in the world.

Hello World!!!

I am here.

This is me.

All the good, bad, and ugly. I can't change the parts that you don't like. I can't become something that I am not. I may make you cry. I will always try to make you laugh. I may hide under mounds of clothing and layers of mud. I may stand naked for all to see. But I will always be me.

Please don't try to change me. Don't try to mold me into something you find more pleasing. Because what you want and what I am may be two different things. Forgive me for my mistakes, my stumbles, my blunders, and love me all the more because of them. Love me for my successes, cheer me on during my failures. Support me, uplift me. Do not hide me or discourage me. Do not make me feel less that I am. Acknowledge me. Help me. In doing so I may help to make you better. Teach me and guide me. Learn from me. Do not lie to me or mistreat me.

I cannot and will not change what I am, who I am becoming. I will grow strong, I will grow tall and I will be proud of who I am and what I stand for. Because I can do nothing else, I can be nothing else. I may at times forget these things. Please forgive me for that and help to remind me. Do not try to inhibit me by your thoughts and ideas of what I should be. Encourage me to be the best me because I can be nothing else.

Simply put: I am me.

This is the song that....

never ends.

The following is what my day feels like today:

This is the song that never ends.
Yes it goes on and on my friends,
Some people. Started singing it,
not knowing what it was and then conitnued
on and on, forever, just because...

and repeat, over and oever and over and over and.....

Just substitute day with song and you get the picture.

My life in a....

Song. One of my all time favorite songs. And it just so happens to describe my life perfectly, almost.

When I was born, they looked at me and said,
"What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy."
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
"What a good girl, what a what a smart girl, what a pretty girl."

We've got these chains that hang around our necks
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same,
when temptation calls, we just look away.

Chorus
This name is the hairshirt I wear
and this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me, be with me tonight,
I know that it isn't right, but be with me tonight.

I go to school, I write exams,
if I pass, if I fail, if I drop out,
does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget 'cause it won't take much for me to show my life ain't over yet.

I wake up scared, I wake up strange.
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
and everything around me stays the same.

Chorus

I couldn't tell you that I was wrong,
chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song.
I couldn't tell you that you were right,
so instead I looked in the mirror,
watched TV, laid awake all night.

We've got these chains, hang 'round our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same when temptation calls ...

Chorus

When I was born, they looked at me and said;
"What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy."
And when you were born, they looked at you and said;
"What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey.”

*Barenaked Ladies, Gordon