Dreams....

When I grow up I want to be....

A dancer- tap, ballet, waltz, latin, swing, hip-hop, I want it all
An artist- sketching, photography, not so much painting...maybe if it's finger painting
A writer- novels, poetry, short stories, advice (but not self-help, never self-help)
A mechanic- I want to be able to fix my own car, not waste money for someone else to do it!
A chef- gourmet meals, pastries, 7 course meals, italian, mexican, thai...mmm good.
A teacher ......

There are so many things that I want to be when I grow up. How do I chose. I want to change the world. I want to solve problems, help others and do my best to be an example to others. Often times I feel as though some of these things are things that I am not even close to doing now and then there are times where I think...maybe just maybe I have set a good example somewhere and in something that I have done. Often as a child I thought that I would be a famous fashion designer and my best friend would be the model. My best friend (Jen) thought that she would be a doctor. Then things changed and I thought maybe I will become a photographer... Jen decided she wanted to be the fashion designer.... Then she went off to school to become a fashion designer and I. Well I am still trying to decide what I want to be.

One day I will be....famous.

Simplicity

Here's to the days when you became best friends because you had the same color shirt,
Happiness came in sunshine and blue skies,
Your biggest hero was your mom,
You thought you would never grow up, everything would always be bigger than you, the swimming pool was as big as the ocean and three scoops of ice cream made you sick.

Here's to the days when laughter came because a butterfly sat on your shoulder,
Tears came because you skinned your knee,
The scariest thing was the first day of school and your biggest worry was if you would make any friends,
Recess seem liked it would last forever and school was fun.

Here's to the days when honesty was the only way, never questioned, came easily, and didn't hurt,
Sadness disappeared in a rainbow or a kiss from your dog,
Life seemed like one big dream and you could be anything that you wanted,
Happily ever after really did exist.

Here's to the days when a hug from mom brought joy to your soul,
Jesus was always beside you and sometimes you could even see Him,
Conversations with God came easily and the answers came even easier,
Living the gospel was the simplest and most logical thing in the world.

Hello World!!!

I am here.

This is me.

All the good, bad, and ugly. I can't change the parts that you don't like. I can't become something that I am not. I may make you cry. I will always try to make you laugh. I may hide under mounds of clothing and layers of mud. I may stand naked for all to see. But I will always be me.

Please don't try to change me. Don't try to mold me into something you find more pleasing. Because what you want and what I am may be two different things. Forgive me for my mistakes, my stumbles, my blunders, and love me all the more because of them. Love me for my successes, cheer me on during my failures. Support me, uplift me. Do not hide me or discourage me. Do not make me feel less that I am. Acknowledge me. Help me. In doing so I may help to make you better. Teach me and guide me. Learn from me. Do not lie to me or mistreat me.

I cannot and will not change what I am, who I am becoming. I will grow strong, I will grow tall and I will be proud of who I am and what I stand for. Because I can do nothing else, I can be nothing else. I may at times forget these things. Please forgive me for that and help to remind me. Do not try to inhibit me by your thoughts and ideas of what I should be. Encourage me to be the best me because I can be nothing else.

Simply put: I am me.

This is the song that....

never ends.

The following is what my day feels like today:

This is the song that never ends.
Yes it goes on and on my friends,
Some people. Started singing it,
not knowing what it was and then conitnued
on and on, forever, just because...

and repeat, over and oever and over and over and.....

Just substitute day with song and you get the picture.

My life in a....

Song. One of my all time favorite songs. And it just so happens to describe my life perfectly, almost.

When I was born, they looked at me and said,
"What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy."
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
"What a good girl, what a what a smart girl, what a pretty girl."

We've got these chains that hang around our necks
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same,
when temptation calls, we just look away.

Chorus
This name is the hairshirt I wear
and this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me, be with me tonight,
I know that it isn't right, but be with me tonight.

I go to school, I write exams,
if I pass, if I fail, if I drop out,
does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget 'cause it won't take much for me to show my life ain't over yet.

I wake up scared, I wake up strange.
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
and everything around me stays the same.

Chorus

I couldn't tell you that I was wrong,
chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song.
I couldn't tell you that you were right,
so instead I looked in the mirror,
watched TV, laid awake all night.

We've got these chains, hang 'round our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same when temptation calls ...

Chorus

When I was born, they looked at me and said;
"What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy."
And when you were born, they looked at you and said;
"What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey.”

*Barenaked Ladies, Gordon

mmm....good food

This post is for a dear friend, I hope that you find it useful.

History of Sandwiches:

Webster tells us that the sandwich was named after the Earl of Sandwich, and defines it as "two or more slices of bread with a filling of meat, fish, cheese, jam, etc., between them..."

With the possibility of so many fillings that Webster settles for 'etc.,' we must turn to the critical element of a sandwich, one that has infinite variety itself - bread.

The first recorded sandwich was made by the famous Rabbi, Hillel the Elder, who lived during the 1st century B.C. A poor man, but a great scholar, he began the Passover custom of sandwiching a mixture of chopped nuts, apples, spices, and wine between two matzohs to eat with bitter herbs. This sandwich is the foundation of the Seder and is named after him. But matzoh, being unleavened bread, is not absorptive of sauces and juices as today's sandwich has become.

Before the Renaissance and the invention of the fork, any object that moved between plate and mouth, lifting cooked food and its sauce without spills was a necessary utensil. From the Dark Ages to the Renaissance, bread was an integral part of a table setting. Thick slices of bread, called trenchers, were set on wooden plates (also called trenchers) to soak up the sauces accompanying pieces of meat. The word comes from the French verb trenchier or trancher, which means to cut. Each trencher was eaten at each meal, and a new one made for the subsequent meal by simply cutting off new a slice from the loaf. If the meal was formal and elaborate, trenchers might be changed more than once during the meal. The advent of the fork, however, dictated that using fingers to lift food was bad manners. The trencher became passé.

John Montagu (1718-1792), the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, revived the concept of bread as utensil giving us the name we use today. Montagu was First Lord of the Admiralty and patron to Capt. James Cook who explored New Zealand, Australia, Hawaii, and Polynesia. Capt. Cook named the Hawaiian Islands after him, calling them the Sandwich Islands. Legend holds that Montagu was addicted to gambling, so addicted that he gambled for hours at a time at a restaurant, refusing to get up for meals. To believe this legend, we can only imagine that he was so intent on scooping up winnings that he could not listen to the growls in his stomach demanding food. Supposedly, he ordered his valet to bring him meat tucked between two pieces of bread. His fellow gamblers, no doubt looking for a lucky charm, began to order "the same as Sandwich!" The original sandwich would have been nothing more than a piece of salt beef between two slices of toasted bread. Whatever the truth of the legend, the name sandwich is inscribed for all time.

In her book, English Bread and Yeast Cookery, Elizabeth David tells us that while France and Italy remained true to the freeform bread, the British were quick to adapt to making a fine loaf of white bread in tins. This ensured uniformity and slices that were evenly cut. In addition, bread made in a tin is less crusty and offers more dough to absorb juices or spreads and hold ingredients together. The British loved their sarnies, the nickname given to sandwiches. Another slang word for sandwich, one that predates sarnie, is 'butty' as in jam butty, chip butty, ham butty etc., and that was a contraction of 'bread and butter'. That came from northern regions, possibly Yorkshire.

In 1840, the sandwich was introduced to America by Elizabeth Leslie (1787-1858). In her "Directions for Cookery", she offers a recipe for ham sandwiches that she deemed them worthy to be a main dish. In the 1900's, with the industrial revolution underway, bakeries began to sell pre-sliced bread. The American public jumped at the ease of making a sandwich. The sandwich as institution was born. Human beings, being adventurous, have developed the sandwich into both a quick and easy meal, and an art form. How long would it take for us to reconfigure the possibilities: we toast the bread or serve it plain; we pile high the sandwich with the maximum ingredients, or keep it simple with one or two.

**This is actually info that I found on www.inmamaskitchen.com.

The insanity that is...

My mind.....

So I have this tendency to think of slightly odd and yet somewhat humorous scenarios when I am either frustrated or bored. Typically this results in me laughing out loud and others looking at me as though I am insane. Hard to believe, I know.

Here is an example:

The other day I was at a friends apartment. Two people were sitting on the couch having a deeply spiritual conversation. I was standing back observing the interactions that were occurring. Completely out of the blue I begin to laugh. This immediately stops the conversation as they look at me with an expression that screams, "What in the world is so funny?!!?" I apologize as I move away and look for anyone who may share in the delight that resulted in the previously expressed laughter. I find someone. Share with them my thoughts and receive a comment that is not what I had expected and as a result leaves me completely ungratified. My response: I walked quietly away grateful that I had not shared the same thought with anyone else.

What is this thought you may ask:

Well let me tell you. Hmmm....maybe that would be pushing it. Lets just say it is something that would be highly entertaining if it were to actually occur.


I must admit though that often times I feel lost in a world where few have traveled and few will even begin to understand. One day...this may change....either I will be committed or...others will begin to see the world in a similar light.