Change....

What an interesting concept. As we grow from a child to an adolescent, we change. Then we become adults and we change, physically, mentally, emotionally.

Sometimes change is inspired by those around us. We see qualities exemplified in others and we want to become as they are. Other times change is inspired by experience. An experience that is filled with joy can instill in us the desire to repeat that same experience or similar ones. Or an experience can be filled with sorrow which will lead us to shy away from similar experiences.

I often wonder how change can be defined. Is change good or is it bad. Some people would respond with, "Well it depends on the change." I personally think that all change is good, as long as we recognize it. If change leads us to become less than we are then we must realize this and do what we can to overcome it and become more than we are. All change leads to growth. Growth as humans and growth as children of God.

For some of us our goal is to become as He is. To see as He sees. To think as He thinks. To act as He acts. In order to do this we must change. We must focus on the things that need improvement within our lives and do all that we can to improve them. And when we have done this He will help us. He will guide us and He will direct us. I am grateful for His patience, I know that I am slow to catch on. But He is always there with His arm outstretched encouraging me to move forward.

Change...the caterpillar become the butterfly. How simple and yet how profound.

Last woman standing....

It's true. I have been right all along...

Let me explain.

There is a group of girls. Four of us to be exact. We became very close friends as a result of a church calling. It was incredible. All of us were single when we began to work together. We loved to talk, we loved to laughed....we loved to eat. It was great.

Well last spring once of us decided that she wanted to do something crazy...get married. She found a boy...he liked her, she liked him....and boom look at that. They got engaged in the winter and married last June.

This was okay...there were still three of us left.

Not for long. Another one decided that she wanted to get married as well. Actually a boy decided he wanted to marry her and she thought, "Hey that's not such a bad idea."

Well once this happened I knew it was all down hill from here. I would definitely be the last on to get hitched. Girl number two gets married this June. I was okay with this. Girl number three has been seriously dating a guy off and on for a few years and my thought was..."Hey they will wait at least another year before getting hitched..."

Nice thought. Too bad I was just a little off. When I arrived home tonight I found an email announcing a surprise bridal shower for Girl #3.

And so ladies and gentleman, I am....

The last woman standing....

Before ending this post I would like to point out the following. There is a town out west that I will, at times, loving refer to as my home town. If I were to go back and visit said town....I would have no single friends to see. They are ALL married. I would like foe this to be an exaggeration but unfortunately it is NOT....I am cursed.

My friends, however, tend to be quite lucky.

I just read the following post. It's pretty intense but it's an incredible story. Definitely worth reading.

The Randomness that is.....

ME.

This, seems to be the theme of my life. Most times I love it and sometimes I don't.

Growing up it seemed as though I was always different than most kids. I tried everything. Tap and ballet when I was three, archery when I was 9, gymnastics when I was 10. The recorder, the viola, and the flute- starting in elementary school and going through high school. Tae-kwan-do in seventh grade, kick-boxing in 9th grade, basketball in 8th grade, swimming my junior year. Speech and debate, yearbook, marching band, drama, D.A.R.E. Youth leadership programs, drug free programs, mentoring programs. Art, horseback riding, writing. I was even a girl scout from the time I was 7 until I was 18. Babysitting, working retail, staffing concerts, soccer games, and baseball games, Powder Puff.

Then I hit college, that lasted for about a year. After that it was off to work. Working in a juice bar, working with juvenile delinquents, teaching preschool, working in a nursing home. Dog sitting, house sitting, horse sitting and even chicken sitting. Working in a photography shop developing film and taking photographs. Working in a bookstore, working as a nanny, running youth conferences.

Talk about random. I guess you could say I love trying new things. This doesn't even include things that I liked to do for fun, in my free time. And as I sit back wondering why in the world I can't make a decision as to what I want to do with my life I realize...I have never been able to choose just one thing. The scary thing about this is that all of these things happened before I moved to Boston. If I were to include the last three years imagine how much longer this list would be.

Idiosyncrasies...

i.e. How much of a freak am I?

I typically will not listen to a message on my voicemail if it is longer than 5 secs.

When walking outside I will not walk on the grass unless I am barefoot and in a park.

Feet are disgusting...yes even if they have just been washed, even if they are clothed in socks or shoes...however if they are a child's I don't mind them.

If given the choice I will not walk barefoot in someone else's house but I will walk barefoot outside.

Buffets are disgusting even if you are only paying $5 for massive amounts of food.

It is more difficult for me to call and talk to someone I do not know than it is for me to walk up and talk to someone I do not know.

My mind is a...

blackhole.

Okay so that may be a little off. But here are some of the things that run through my mind on occasion:

I usually think in comic strips most often when I am frustrated, annoyed, vexed, etc. This comes in very handy when I am struggling with finding humor in a situation. However this doesn't work so well when someone is frustrated with me. For some reason if others are frustrated with you and you start laughing they don't appreciate that very much....I wonder why?

Thoughts I have while driving, most often these are said out loud...no one is in the car to hear me. How difficult is it to turn on your turn signal. I mean really? Gas is on the right, brake is on the left, get it straight. Thank you for cutting me off I really need to increase my heart rate today. Are you sure you have a license? Hello Genius!!!

I think that may be all I have for right now...I would like to think that there are more things that run through my head but apparently not.

Optimism...

What is it? How is it defined.

Old Mr. Webster says that it is either a doctrine that this world is the best possible world or an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome.

I personally do not think that this world is the best possible world. I think that the best possible world is something that will come in it's own due time. Maybe the time will be after the second-coming. Maybe that time was in the Garden of Eden. Maybe that time is yet to exist.

What does any of this have to do with me and why am I posting it? Well I used to, at one point in my life, define my self as an optimist. Now I am not so sure. I do tend to, in most situations, look at the brighter side of things. But when taking optimist in it's literal form, it just doesn't seem to fit who I am.

What other words would better suit me? Pragmatism, idealism, skepticism, cynicism. Maybe somewhere within all of these words there is a better fit. Something that can be used to better define my views and my perspective.

Ultimately I feel that just one word cannot describe any individual. We all are made up of many, many things and it is within each of these things that you find the beauty and brilliance that is humanity.

Fundamentally the best word to describe me may be human.